My step-sister just posted a beautiful blog post about her 2 daughters. She is 20 weeks along in her second pregnancy, and they just found out that they are expecting another girl. You should go read it; it's pretty profound!
Her words about her 2 daughters made me think about my 2 sons... my amazing 6 1/2-year-0ld red-headed bundle of energy and my as-of-yet unmet but already so loved son growing inside me. And just as my step-sister realized that the privilege of mothering 2 daughters is a gift from God alone, I rejoice in the fact that He has seen fit to allow me the privilege of mothering 2 sons.
I remember something Steve said when we found out another boy was on the way. We were driving home from the appointment, staring in wonder as the ultrasound pictures, and he said something that both thrilled and terrified me. He said, "It is such an honor to be chosen to raise 2 boys, to train them to be godly men, leaders in their homes, churches, and jobs."
It is an honor.
And it is huge responsibility.
I want to teach my sons to love the Lord their God with all their hearts, souls, minds and strength, and to love others as they love themselves. I want to teach them to respect and protect the ladies in their lives. I want to teach them self-control, and how to be strong and courageous, and pure, and holy, and brave.
I want my boys to grow into the kind of men that can be depended on, men of integrity, men who will love their wives and families and work hard to provide for them, men who will show the love of Jesus to everyone they meet. Men like that are the men who change the world... for good.
And as my step-sister also said in her post, nothing about these children, this pregnancy, this blessing is because of me. I know so many amazing, wonderful women who for some reason have been told "no" or "wait" as they pray for a child. Am I more deserving of this blessing than them? No - a thousand times over.
But as one who was told "wait" for many, many years and have now miraculously been told "yes", I see and understand perhaps better than most that God really does have a plan... and that He is God all by Himself. His ways are not our ways. But His heart beats for each of His children with a love that we can never fully understand. He is writing His story for each of us, and it is a good, good story.
We can trust Him, and rest in that.