Friday, August 10, 2007
Good Bad Happy Sad
Today is the 10 year anniversary of my mom's death. So, it's a bittersweet day for me. Of course I miss my mom, and the memories of her last weeks are painful to remember. She was really hurting there at the end. But when I think of her I have so many good memories too, and I can look back and see how things she said or did have shaped me into who I am today. Over the last 10 years there were many times that I wished she were there, like my wedding day or the day of my accident or the day Nathan was born. But I also can't imagine life without my step-mom and her family in it. I wish Nathan could have known my mom, cause she would have loved him so much and really enjoyed being his grandma. But Jennifer is a wonderful Nana, and she loves Nathan and just delights in him. He doesn't feel like he's "missing out", because she has filled that role in his life to overflowing. And so around and around I go. Today I'm consumed with thoughts that are both good and bad, happy and sad. And that's OK.