Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Cardinal Story

When my mom was dying from cancer, we had many good talks. We talked about heaven, and how she knew she was going there. After one of those talks, I went into my room and prayed. I asked God to please send me a cardinal when she died to reassure me the she was in heaven; that she was all right.

My mom died about a month later. And during her visitation, I was amazed to see a little cardinal nestled in the flower arrangement on her casket. I hadn't told anyone about my prayer, and we hadn't asked for a cardinal to be included in the flowers. I considered that an answer to my prayer. So I shared the story with my brother, hoping it would be an encouragement to him as well. But he said, "You asked God for a real cardinal. It doesn't count."

The next day we were getting ready for her funeral. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I heard my brother calling out to me. I ran into the family room, and he pointed out to our backyard. There, in the tree my mom had planted, were two cardinals! My brother looked at me and said, "Look! You only asked for one... but God sent me one too!" Even though he is not yet a Christian, I was so thankful that he was able to be comforted some by the God that I know loves him very much.

To this day, when I see a cardinal, I feel as if it is a message from God just for me. A reminder that He is there... that He is with me... and that everything is going to be all right.

This time of waiting for our adoption to go through has been hard. Many of you know that I have begun to question God and His plan... and even His love for me. Infertility is such a hard road to walk... and though I believe adoption is a beautiful option, waiting on God has proved harder than I ever thought it would be. I have felt very overlooked by God. But today, guess what I saw in my backyard...

Yes. A cardinal. A message straight from God to me. A reminder that He's with me. That He sees me. That He knows me and loves me and really does have a plan for me. And that everything is going to be all right.

Thank you, God!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Grace,
Thanks for sharing your heart and what you are going through. I will pray for you and Steve as you wait, like you said it is the HARDEST part! I will have faith, along with you, that he has a plan for you and a sweet little one in your future. Enjoy Mr. Nathan too during this time. He is such a character, certainly knows how to make Ella laugh! Write or call anytime.
Love, Erin

Conley's Corner said...

Sometimes you can read something and think "wow what a story" normally I would have been thinking that too. Today is not one of those days, today I know I was suppose to read your heartfelt story, to remind me of mine own "cardinal".Thanks Grace! You and your family is in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Grace,
You have a wonderful gift of sharing your heart. Both you and Steve are being used in a powerful way by God and He rewards in His time. Thank you for being the sweet examples you are and for sharing Nathan with us. Dorcas

Anonymous said...

Thank you for being so open during this time. It is truly an honor to be included. Know that I love you.

Janea

Official Observer said...

I am still praying for you and Steve. Thanks for sharing this. It is an encouragement to all of us.

Anonymous said...

Grace,
On those occasions when I am truly deeply sad I too experience the cardinal appearances. I know your mom, my sister, is in a wonderful place in the arms of Our Heavenly Father. The cardinals showing up at just the right time always reaffirms this for me. I hung a cardinal ornament on my christmas tree and it reminds me of Mary. Stay stong.
Much Love, Aunt Becki

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rachel said...

I'm praying for your beautiful baby. Oh that it will soon be in your arms!