"Is God really good?"
I know He has a plan. I know He's in control. I know this didn't take Him by surprise. I know He's real and there and even that He loves me. But is He really good? Is His plan really for my best, or is it something I have to settle for? Is He working in this, or has He overlooked me? Does He hear my prayer, or has He forgotten to listen? Is God and what He has for me really enough, or do I want things my own way?
That is the crux of the matter for me.
Do I really believe that God is good?
And after the tears and the anguished cries and the unfairness of it all and the questions and the doubts and the bitterness and the pain... after all that...
"Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for Him.'
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him."
And I still believe it. I really do.