Caleb is 1!!!

Happy Birthday, Caleb Steven!

One More Day

 There is a commercial I've seen recently that says something like, "You have a child for life, but a baby for just one year." Well, if that's true, then I have one more day for my baby to be a baby.

Caleb Steven turns 1 tomorrow. And even though he's getting so big... I think the commercial is wrong. Because his 7 1/2-year-old brother is still my baby... and so is he. He always will be. Even after tomorrow.

But regardless, this is my last day before my baby turns 1. And there are some things I want to say to this boy who is growing up way too fast.

Dear Caleb,

Tomorrow is your 1st birthday, baby boy! It's hard to believe it's been a year since we first heard your cry, since we first saw your face, since we first held you close in our arms. You are our long-awaited miracle, prayed here by family and friends all over the world. Some of them you will never meet... some of them I've never met, but because they love God and because they love me and because they love you, they prayed that God would be gracious to us and send you our way. And because God loves us He did... and we are thankful.

You are such a beautiful child, Caleb. You are growing and changing and learning so much. You walk EVERYWHERE now... usually with a toy or a book or a pot or the TV remote in your hand. You've got places to go, baby, and you are on your way.

You eat EVERYTHING. Your favorites right now are yogurt, apple sauce, bananas, pancakes, cheese and milk. You sign "more" and "all done" while you eat, though we see "more" a lot more often than "all done". 

You seem to love EVERYONE. You are always giving hugs and blowing kisses and waving and smiling at friends and strangers alike. You've got personality, kiddo, and it shows. 

You think your brother hung the moon. You have your own way of saying Nathan's name, and your face lights up when you see him. He makes you laugh like no one else can, and I can tell you want to be just like him. You've got a great big brother, Caleb. And he loves you with a fierce protectiveness that is rare and wonderful.

Caleb Steven, when I need to be reminded that God is with us all I have to do is look at you. You are a blessing and a joy, and your Daddy and I love you so very much. We've enjoyed every minute of your first year (even at 2 in the morning...), and we look forward to many more years of living life with you. 

I love you, baby boy! 

Love, Mommy

Now I Get It!

This is why God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, created my boys 6 1/2 years apart. I couldn't see it while we were waiting... but I do now! 

Thank You, God, for Your plan for my family!

Caleb 11 Months - and eating real food!

Caleb is 11 months old now and he is opinionated about his food! He doesn't want baby food anymore, but prefers to feed himself real food! Here are some pictures of our big little boy at 11 months, feeding himself some scrambled eggs! 

 

Caleb is 11 months old now and he is opinionated about his food! He doesn't want baby food anymore, but prefers to feed himself real food! Here are some pictures of our big little boy at 11 months, feeding himself some scrambled eggs!

Nathan's Baptism!

Nathan and 7 other children were baptized at our church yesterday! Steve was blessed to be able to baptize his son in front of our friends and family!

Why I Love Cardinals

Today I was checking Facebook, and my 7-year-old noticed that my cover photo is a cardinal sitting in a tree. So he asked me, "Mom, why do you like cardinals so much?"

So I told him.

And even though I have posted this before, years ago, I will tell you too... because someone needs to be reminded today that God is right here with us.

Always.

The Cardinal Story

When my mom was dying from cancer, we had many good talks. We talked about heaven, and how she knew she was going there. After one of those talks, I went into my room and prayed. I asked God to please send me a cardinal when she died to reassure me the she was in heaven; that she was all right.

My mom died about a month later. And during her visitation, I was amazed to see a little cardinal nestled in the flower arrangement on her casket. I hadn't told anyone about my prayer, and we hadn't asked for a cardinal to be included in the flowers. I considered that an answer to my prayer. So I shared the story with my brother, hoping it would be an encouragement to him as well. But he said, "You asked God for a real cardinal. It doesn't count."

The next day we were getting ready for her funeral. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I heard my brother calling out to me. I ran into the family room, and he pointed out to our backyard. There, in the tree my mom had planted, were two cardinals! My brother looked at me and said, "Look! You only asked for one... but God sent me one too!" Even though he is not yet a Christian, I was so thankful that he was able to be comforted some by the God that I know loves him very much.

To this day, when I see a cardinal, I feel as if it is a message from God just for me. A reminder that He is there... that He is with me... and that everything is going to be all right.

Man, have I been neglecting the blog lately! So sorry to my dozens of faithful readers! ;)

I missed posting Caleb's 10 month pictures, so here they are... even though he's now 10 1/2 months old. Hopefully the cuteness factor will make up for my tardiness!

A little late to the party...

... but my baby turned 9 months old on the 12th! He is getting so big!


He weighed in at 20 lbs 7 ozs at his 9-month check-up. He's such a happy boy and is a delight to everyone who meets him!

We love you, Caleb Steven!

Banana Head!

Today I gave Caleb a bath before lunch... and then as he was eating he decided to stick his clean head of clean hair onto a spoonful of bananas that I was attempting to feed him. So what's a Mama to do? I used the sticky banana hair to give him a mini Mohawk, of course!

First World Problems

My friend Mary, who blogs at Giving Up on Perfect, shared a post the other day about First-World Problems.

Have you heard of this trend? Evidently, it's big right now.

And kinda funny.

But also super sad.

See, all over the world, there are places known as Third-World Countries. And the people who live in these places have problems. Big problems. Real problems.

And then, there are we Americans and others who live in First-World Countries. And for some reason, we think we have problems too. Big problems. Real problems.

But our problems are nothing in comparison.

Yet still, we complain. And worry. A LOT.

And all the while, millions of people around the world would love to have our problems.

Sharing our First World Problems with each other can be funny... in that step-on-your-toes, see-yourself-as-you-really-are kind of way.

For example:

1. Our dryer is broken. It takes more time and more effort to hang the clothes up to dry. The laundry stacks up because you can't do as much at one time. Plus... the clean clothes are not as soft.

2. I don't have a texting plan on my cell phone, so I either have to pay for texts or actually call people.

3. I'm craving chocolate, but we only have white chocolate chips in the cabinet.

4. My bed is so comfortable it's hard to get up in the morning.

5. I keep forgetting to refill the Brita Water pitcher in our fridge so I always have to wait for the water to filter.

6. It seems I am constantly misplacing my Kindle.

7. I hate having to wait until 2:00 pm to get cheap drinks at Sonic.

8. My pediatrician's office couldn't get me a same-day appointment so I had to wait a day.

9. There are so many toys strewn across the floor at any given moment that I'm always in danger of tripping and snapping an ankle.

10. I have 10 Bibles in the house and sometimes go days without reading one.

See what I mean? First World Problems. I hope these made you smile... I hope they made you roll your eyes... and I hope they made you think.

Cause we've really got it good, don't we?

8 Months Old!

Caleb Steven turned 8 months old yesterday! It's so hard to believe that our little miracle baby is getting so big!

Here are some 8 month stats:

Caleb has 6 teeth! 2 on the bottom, and 4 on the top!

Caleb loves most baby food! He likes squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, bananas, apple sauce, peaches and pears. He is not a fan of green peas.

He rolls EVERYWHERE! He's not crawling yet... but he gets where he wants to go just fine!

He wears 6-9 month clothes.

He sleeps about 11 hours at night and takes 2-3 naps during the day. When he is tired, he doesn't want to cuddle, he wants to lay down in his crib. He sleep with a pacifier and his special blue blankie.

Caleb is such a happy baby! He loves laughing at his brother, putting everything in his mouth, and having the undivided attention of his family and friends.

Happy 8 months, little guy! We love you!

My One Word

Well it's a new day, a new week, a new year! January 1, 2012. A fresh start. A clean slate.

Time to make that long list of resolutions, right?

Wrong! At least for me this year!

This year, I'm doing this: One Word. You can check out the link for more information, but basically it's a new way of "making resolutions" that just might work better for someone like me. Instead of making a list of specific changes and goals for the year, you choose one word that becomes your overall theme, your battle-cry, for the upcoming year. Some of my online friends did this last year, and though I was a bit late to that party, I thought it was a great idea and wanted to try it for myself this year.

So, after much thinking and searching and even praying for just the right word for me... my one word for 2012 is:

OBEY

Even typing it is hard... I can't imagine how difficult (and life-altering) living it will be!

This year, I want to obey God. I want to obey Him in regards to my health. (You can see what that will look like here.) I want to obey Him in regards to how I treat people. I want to obey Him in the things I choose to do, or not do... the place I choose to go, or not go... the words I choose to say, or not say. I want to obey what He tells me in His Word, which means reading it so I know! I want to use my gifts and talents how He wants me to, which means saying "Yes" to His invitations. I want to love and serve people like He does, which means getting rid of selfishness. And I want to know that I am walking with Him no matter what He takes me through.

I won't get it perfectly all the time, I know that. But my goal for 2012 is to obey my Lord.

"And what does the Lord require of you? To live justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

So, want to join me? What's your one word?

100 years

Today would have been my great-grandparents 100th wedding anniversary.

How do I know? Because I was blessed to be given my great-grandmother's wedding band, and it has an inscription along the inside.
Can you see the date?

Inside this simple golden band, it reads: From HP to MP 12-23-11

Today is 12-23-11... but not the same one!

It's amazing to hold something in my hand that I know is at least 100 years old. It's incredible to think about that day 100 years ago, when 2 people who would become my great-grandparents came together in marriage. It's awe-inspiring to think about my history going back and back and back... 100 years and beyond.

I never met my great-grandparents.

But I knew (and loved) their daughter, my Grandma. She was a hard-working farm wife. She made the most amazing lamb cake, complete with coconut "wool" icing. She loved life and always had a smile on her face. We share a name and a birthday.

She was amazing.

And I knew (and loved) her daughter, my Mom. She was a funny, friendly lady who never met a stranger. She had a contagious laugh and was fiercely loyal to those she loved. She had the most beautiful eyes, but you never got to see them because they disappeared when she smiled... and she was always smiling. We share those eyes and a love of music and a zany sense of humor.

She was amazing.

And I know (and mostly love!) her daughter... Me.

Who I am is a complex tapestry woven from the strengths and weaknesses, the joys and trials, the life experiences of those who came before me... all wrapped up and tied with a bow by the God who made me just who He wanted me to be.

And like a 100-year old wedding ring passed down from generation to generation... I am a legacy of those who came before me. And my life is the legacy I pass on to those who will come next.

Wow.

Now that's amazing!

Merry Christmas, 2011!

From our house to yours!
Nathan- 7 years
Caleb - 7 months

My baby boy is 7 months old!

December 12, 2011

Child-like Wonder

This is Caleb's first Christmas. And this is his first glimpse of his first Christmas tree.



I know, right? Look at that sweet face. Such excitement, such awe. It's all new to him. New, and beautiful. And he's content to just sit there, basking in the beauty of the Christmas tree in child-like wonder.

I want to be like that. I want to look at this Christmas season and see past the business and the spending, the decorations and the lights, the traditions and the trees... and I want to bask in the glory of the baby whose birth we celebrate at Christmas. The baby who grew up, lived a perfect life, willingly died upon a cross to save me from my sins, rose again 3 days later, and is right now preparing a place for me -that where He is, there I may be also.

O Child of Wonder, Child of Light... I want to gaze on you like that again. With all the excitement and awe that's in me. Content to just be there with you. Thankful for the amazing gift that You are. I want to bask in Your beauty and Your light and Your peace. I want to know You even more.

Oh come, let us adore Him...

With child-like wonder.

Guess who's 6 months old?

This little guy!

We love you, Caleb Steven. You are a blessing.

Plans

I had a plan.

We'd wait at least 5 years after we got married to start trying to have children. We'd wait until our last semester of seminary before we started trying. We'd wait until we had a job lined up and our future stretched before us like the highway across the Kansas plains.

That part worked perfectly. The waiting.

But then came the trying. For a year. With no baby.

And then came the remembering what my doctor had told me when I was 14, that I might never be able to have children. So I found myself talking to my OB and getting onto a fertility drug. 2 months later, I was staring through my tears at a positive pregnancy test. 9 months later, we welcomed a healthy, beautiful baby boy into the world.

So far, so good.

But back to my plan.

Of course, we'd have a baby, and then exactly 2 years later we'd have another one, and exactly 2 years after that we'd have a third.

So when Nathan was 1 1/2, we started trying again. I had a new OB, but he put me back on the fertility drug that worked so quickly the first time. I fully expected it to work again.

But it didn't.

So we saw a specialist. And pursued adoption. And I had labs and tests and procedures and even a surgery. I took multiple medications.

And 4 long years went by.

My plan was unraveling before my eyes. Not only would my children not be 2 years apart, I was beginning to think we might never have a second child. I started thinking about my son being "an only" for the rest of his life. And with each year that passed, my plan faded away more and more - until it was only the wisp of a memory.

But through it all, God had a plan. And His plans always work out.

Because of His great mercy, I now have 2 healthy, beautiful boys... 6 1/2 years apart. My family looks different than the way I planned it all those years ago. But when I saw my 7-year-old reading to his baby brother this afternoon, I smiled and thanked God again for "ruining" all my plans. Because His plan was so much more than I could ever have dreamed up for myself. He knew just what my family was going to look like, and He has carried us here.

So what's the plan for the future? I have no idea. Only God knows! But whatever it is, I trust Him. Because He is faithful... and His plans for me are good.

Happy Howell-o-Ween!

Here are a few pictures of my favorite Howell boys during Halloween weekend!

My step-sister took this picture of the Howell boys during the grand kids photo shoot this weekend. Thanks, Rachel!